Some time ago, if a customer bought something "on the slate" it meant that the customer would pay at a later time. Whatever he or she owed would be written on the slate. Once the debt was paid, the slate would be wiped clean.
I think to some degree, in order to pursue our dreams we must have our slates wiped clean. Here's the interesting thing: the decision to wipe my slate clean is not solely made by me. If we refer back to the origin of the idiom, we see a situation in which someone's slate is wiped clean only if:
1. He or she pays off a debt
2. The one owed forgives a debt
Either way, it's a transaction.
We actually often use this idiom when we talk about moving forward in a new direction. It's interesting that we consider it important to consider our past as a requirement to move forward. Once someone's debt is paid, the relationship mended, or the mistakes forgiven, we start to see a brighter hope or future for that person. Just think of the scandals we witness all too often through the media of famous movie stars, politicians or professional athletes. Until that person has somehow paid his or her debt or made something right, we really don't see an opportunity or possibility for them to move forward.
It's the same way with us and our dreams. If we struggle with seeing the possibility or the opportunity of an audacious dream, then it could be because our slate hasn't been wiped clean. If we struggle in the pursuit of a dream, then it's possible that the one thing weighing us down is a marked-up slate.
Do you ever find it difficult to dream?
Do you find it difficult to believe you could successfully pursue your most audacious dreams?
Do you struggle with allowing yourself to dream?
Maybe your slate needs to be wiped clean. We often won't allow ourselves to pursue something or become someone because we know we are living with a marked-up slate. There is some debt in our lives that needs to be paid; maybe a relationship that needs to be reconciled. Half of the journey is getting to this point: a clean slate.
When we arrive at that point, then we should pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and smile. All that might have weighed us down, held us back or been waiting to trip us up is no longer on the slate of our lives. We can step forward with resolve -- no looking back and no second guessing. Personally and professionally, we are in right relationship with people. We have humbled ourselves before the "past" of our lives and, in doing so, we face the future with confidence. Nothing is owed, all is forgiven.
Therefore, without restraint we can dream big. We can pursue a dream we never thought possible because before it never really was possible. Without a clean slate, those dreams could not be pursued. But now that it is clean, we can dare to dream beyond the walls that held us in, beyond the anchors that held us back. It's like someone has taken away the kryptonite, and now we can run faster, jump higher, love deeper and dream bigger.
If you find yourself struggling to dream big and/or pursue those big dreams, get rid of the kryptonite -- wipe the slate clean.
November 12, 2011
November 11, 2011
Does God Speak?
I am going to try to write a blog post every day for the next few weeks. Hopefully, this will be good practice for me and encouraging for any readers out there.
Currently, I am reading a book called "God Guides" by Mary Geegh. Mary was a missionary to India from 1924-1962. She is originally from Michigan.
In her book, Mary tells story after story of asking God to speak to her about a specific situation. She writes down whatever God tells her to do and then she obeys. Sometimes what God tells her to do does not seem to relate to her question, but she obeys anyway. As you might guess, once she obeys she sees why God asked that of her and how it related to her original request.
I am of the opinion that:
1. There is a God
2. He loves us
3. He wants to communicate with us
So, yes, I believe that God does speak to us if we listen. I think that we, in fact, often hear from God, but maybe we don't always like what we hear. Or maybe it is difficult to hear Him in the midst of the clanging and clatter that surround us every day. Not that God can't raise His voice loud enough to be heard above the noise, but I think He is usually not that way (sometimes, though, He most definitely is that way -- ask Paul about his journey to Damascus).
More often than not, I think we hear God when we listen. I dare to say that He is always speaking to us, and I mean that literally, but we so rarely pause to listen. You know which word I think is most important in the previous sentence? Pause.
Why do we rush? Why are we so anxious? I think it is because we do not pause to listen. If we paused to listen, might we hear from God and might the words He speaks calm our anxiety? If we paused to listen, might we actually stop rushing because, truly, what is the hurry? Does anyone who believes in God believe that he or she can accomplish more in a given amount of time than He can? In fact, we might save a lot of time by pausing to listen. Slowing down in order to allow God to guide might actually increase our daily level of "output" -- our personal and professional efficiency.
Beyond efficiency, I believe hearing from God is key to our ability to dream and pursue those dreams. Of course, we can dream without hearing from God, but are those God-given dreams? Maybe. Maybe He places dreams in our hearts and we don't even know it. And maybe we never need to know it in order to dream those dreams and pursue them. But how much more wonderful would our dreams be if God spoke them to us? And how much more confident would we be about pursuing those dreams if God spoke them to us? And, more so, what if every day He told us what to do that day to pursue the dreams He spoke to us?
I'd love to send a copy of "God Guides" to anyone who would like one. I won't have extra copies to mail out for a few weeks, but if you email me your address then I'll make sure you get one. I'm at: wmleonard@gmail.com
I wonder what God might say to you if you spent some time listening to Him tonight? Ask Him what He would like to say to you and when you hear from Him write down what He says. Then obey. As Mary Geegh says, "Where God guides, God provides."
Currently, I am reading a book called "God Guides" by Mary Geegh. Mary was a missionary to India from 1924-1962. She is originally from Michigan.
In her book, Mary tells story after story of asking God to speak to her about a specific situation. She writes down whatever God tells her to do and then she obeys. Sometimes what God tells her to do does not seem to relate to her question, but she obeys anyway. As you might guess, once she obeys she sees why God asked that of her and how it related to her original request.
I am of the opinion that:
1. There is a God
2. He loves us
3. He wants to communicate with us
So, yes, I believe that God does speak to us if we listen. I think that we, in fact, often hear from God, but maybe we don't always like what we hear. Or maybe it is difficult to hear Him in the midst of the clanging and clatter that surround us every day. Not that God can't raise His voice loud enough to be heard above the noise, but I think He is usually not that way (sometimes, though, He most definitely is that way -- ask Paul about his journey to Damascus).
More often than not, I think we hear God when we listen. I dare to say that He is always speaking to us, and I mean that literally, but we so rarely pause to listen. You know which word I think is most important in the previous sentence? Pause.
Why do we rush? Why are we so anxious? I think it is because we do not pause to listen. If we paused to listen, might we hear from God and might the words He speaks calm our anxiety? If we paused to listen, might we actually stop rushing because, truly, what is the hurry? Does anyone who believes in God believe that he or she can accomplish more in a given amount of time than He can? In fact, we might save a lot of time by pausing to listen. Slowing down in order to allow God to guide might actually increase our daily level of "output" -- our personal and professional efficiency.
Beyond efficiency, I believe hearing from God is key to our ability to dream and pursue those dreams. Of course, we can dream without hearing from God, but are those God-given dreams? Maybe. Maybe He places dreams in our hearts and we don't even know it. And maybe we never need to know it in order to dream those dreams and pursue them. But how much more wonderful would our dreams be if God spoke them to us? And how much more confident would we be about pursuing those dreams if God spoke them to us? And, more so, what if every day He told us what to do that day to pursue the dreams He spoke to us?
I'd love to send a copy of "God Guides" to anyone who would like one. I won't have extra copies to mail out for a few weeks, but if you email me your address then I'll make sure you get one. I'm at: wmleonard@gmail.com
I wonder what God might say to you if you spent some time listening to Him tonight? Ask Him what He would like to say to you and when you hear from Him write down what He says. Then obey. As Mary Geegh says, "Where God guides, God provides."
November 6, 2011
Are we scared to dream? Are we scared to pursue our dreams?
What is your #1 goal right now? Evaluate the way you spend your time, then give me your answer.
Can you tell me your top five dreams in order of priority without having to think about your answer even for a second?
Are we living every day the way we do because we want to live that way? Even those of us who would consider ourselves satisfied, even happy, with our lives, is it because we truly are happy? Or is it because we believe we are doing relatively well considering...
...considering most people go to work five days a week for 8-10 hours, right?
...considering most families only see each other for a short time in the morning and then around the dinner table at night during the work/school week, right?
...considering most people only get 2-4 weeks of vacation per year. And most people don't have the luxury of taking all their vacation, right?
...considering most people take the promotion when it is offered. And if it requires that the family move, then that's a sacrifice worth making, right?
...considering most people have to work for someone else to have health insurance. And most people cannot afford to start their own business, and of those that do, most aren't successful. And most people cannot take their family on a two-month mission trip or vacation anytime they want. And most people need to work for someone else to have the security and stability they need in order to responsibly raise a family, right?
We have a great church, a wonderful group of women we have coffee with every Tuesday morning, two nice cars, the money to meet monthly payments on student loans and the mortgage. We live near family, our kids attend a nice school, we spend one week every year at the beach, we get to see most of our kids' basketball games, we volunteer at the local Boys and Girls Club. We are progressing in our career -- next year Bob will get a bump up to $120K or Laura will have her own P&L to manage or Tim's church will pass the 1,000-member mark.
Our lives are pretty good, aren't they?
What would big, hairy, audacious dreams (BHADs) do to our lives? If your response is that you are already living your dream, then I'd ask you to dream bigger. Would dreaming big upset the balance, disturb the satisfaction, and cause us to feel a little uncomfortable?
Your dream isn't big enough until it makes you feel uncomfortable.
So are we scared to dream? Start with your spouse and your children. Start with the people who need you most, who love you most. What would your life look like if you got to schedule it? What would your family do every day, every year if there were no restrictions? What could you do for your kids, where could you be for your kids, if anything was possible? Who could you bless and how big could the blessing be if there were no limits?
Don't dream within the parameters of your current situation. Don't restrict your dreams to fit within the "nice" life you are living. Do not color within the lines just because someone gave you an 8x11 piece of paper with a picture on it. Who said that's the picture for your life? Who said the height of your joy is dependent upon how well you color that picture? Forget the picture, forget what you see all around you, forget where you've been, forget every challenge that flies in your face every time you begin to dip your toe in the ocean of your wildest, most audacious dreams.
When you dream big, hairy, audacious dreams then you challenge everything about the life you are currently living. It can feel much easier to limit your dreams than it is to dream without limit.
And what if we do dream? What if we do allow our hearts and minds to reach beyond the page; to start imagining what the picture would look like if we drew it?
And what if we found a way to pursue those dreams? What if there was a vehicle that could take us and our families to a place we once never thought possible?
Might it take discipline to achieve for our families what we once never dreamed possible? Might it require that we step outside of our comfort zone? Might it require that we take the road less traveled?
I've always wondered why "a road most traveled" even exists. Aren't we all unique? Aren't we all made to pursue our own path? Don't we actually long to break the mold, draw our own picture, and dig a tunnel under the prison wall? Do you ever look up from your computer screen and look at all the "cubicles of life" that surround you and wonder what it might be like to walk out?
But there I go dreaming again. Silly me.
But just for a moment, dream with me. What if there was a way to pursue your big, hairy, audacious dreams? What if it all was possible, but it just required you to do things a little differently in order to get there?
Maybe you will dare to dream, but will you also dare to pursue the dream? Will you dream big enough for the dream to be worth pursuing? The dream has to be valuable enough to replace the comfort of your current situation. The dream has to be big enough to overcome any fear or laziness or apathy or even satisfaction.
What if there was a vehicle to pursue your dreams? What if it didn't look like any other vehicle you'd ever driven or ever even seen? What if there was a way, but it wasn't familiar or comfortable?
Then I'd say the vehicle might match the size of your dreams. I'd say you might have found a way to draw your own picture. I'd say that you've journeyed beyond your fears and arrived at the outskirts of a forrest that most have never dared to trek through, most have never even dared to step into. The trees loom large and the fog is heavy. You can't see far ahead of you, and everything within you is screaming: "Turn around! It's not worth it. You probably won't find what you are looking for anyway!"
But you take that first step into the unknown, armed with your greatest tools: a commitment to always dream bigger, hairier and more audacious dreams and a daily resolve to wake up every morning, fold up your tent, roll up your sleeping bag, put out the campfire and walk one more day in the direction of those dreams.
Can you tell me your top five dreams in order of priority without having to think about your answer even for a second?
Are we living every day the way we do because we want to live that way? Even those of us who would consider ourselves satisfied, even happy, with our lives, is it because we truly are happy? Or is it because we believe we are doing relatively well considering...
...considering most people go to work five days a week for 8-10 hours, right?
...considering most families only see each other for a short time in the morning and then around the dinner table at night during the work/school week, right?
...considering most people only get 2-4 weeks of vacation per year. And most people don't have the luxury of taking all their vacation, right?
...considering most people take the promotion when it is offered. And if it requires that the family move, then that's a sacrifice worth making, right?
...considering most people have to work for someone else to have health insurance. And most people cannot afford to start their own business, and of those that do, most aren't successful. And most people cannot take their family on a two-month mission trip or vacation anytime they want. And most people need to work for someone else to have the security and stability they need in order to responsibly raise a family, right?
We have a great church, a wonderful group of women we have coffee with every Tuesday morning, two nice cars, the money to meet monthly payments on student loans and the mortgage. We live near family, our kids attend a nice school, we spend one week every year at the beach, we get to see most of our kids' basketball games, we volunteer at the local Boys and Girls Club. We are progressing in our career -- next year Bob will get a bump up to $120K or Laura will have her own P&L to manage or Tim's church will pass the 1,000-member mark.
Our lives are pretty good, aren't they?
What would big, hairy, audacious dreams (BHADs) do to our lives? If your response is that you are already living your dream, then I'd ask you to dream bigger. Would dreaming big upset the balance, disturb the satisfaction, and cause us to feel a little uncomfortable?
Your dream isn't big enough until it makes you feel uncomfortable.
So are we scared to dream? Start with your spouse and your children. Start with the people who need you most, who love you most. What would your life look like if you got to schedule it? What would your family do every day, every year if there were no restrictions? What could you do for your kids, where could you be for your kids, if anything was possible? Who could you bless and how big could the blessing be if there were no limits?
Don't dream within the parameters of your current situation. Don't restrict your dreams to fit within the "nice" life you are living. Do not color within the lines just because someone gave you an 8x11 piece of paper with a picture on it. Who said that's the picture for your life? Who said the height of your joy is dependent upon how well you color that picture? Forget the picture, forget what you see all around you, forget where you've been, forget every challenge that flies in your face every time you begin to dip your toe in the ocean of your wildest, most audacious dreams.
When you dream big, hairy, audacious dreams then you challenge everything about the life you are currently living. It can feel much easier to limit your dreams than it is to dream without limit.
And what if we do dream? What if we do allow our hearts and minds to reach beyond the page; to start imagining what the picture would look like if we drew it?
And what if we found a way to pursue those dreams? What if there was a vehicle that could take us and our families to a place we once never thought possible?
Might it take discipline to achieve for our families what we once never dreamed possible? Might it require that we step outside of our comfort zone? Might it require that we take the road less traveled?
I've always wondered why "a road most traveled" even exists. Aren't we all unique? Aren't we all made to pursue our own path? Don't we actually long to break the mold, draw our own picture, and dig a tunnel under the prison wall? Do you ever look up from your computer screen and look at all the "cubicles of life" that surround you and wonder what it might be like to walk out?
But there I go dreaming again. Silly me.
But just for a moment, dream with me. What if there was a way to pursue your big, hairy, audacious dreams? What if it all was possible, but it just required you to do things a little differently in order to get there?
Maybe you will dare to dream, but will you also dare to pursue the dream? Will you dream big enough for the dream to be worth pursuing? The dream has to be valuable enough to replace the comfort of your current situation. The dream has to be big enough to overcome any fear or laziness or apathy or even satisfaction.
What if there was a vehicle to pursue your dreams? What if it didn't look like any other vehicle you'd ever driven or ever even seen? What if there was a way, but it wasn't familiar or comfortable?
Then I'd say the vehicle might match the size of your dreams. I'd say you might have found a way to draw your own picture. I'd say that you've journeyed beyond your fears and arrived at the outskirts of a forrest that most have never dared to trek through, most have never even dared to step into. The trees loom large and the fog is heavy. You can't see far ahead of you, and everything within you is screaming: "Turn around! It's not worth it. You probably won't find what you are looking for anyway!"
But you take that first step into the unknown, armed with your greatest tools: a commitment to always dream bigger, hairier and more audacious dreams and a daily resolve to wake up every morning, fold up your tent, roll up your sleeping bag, put out the campfire and walk one more day in the direction of those dreams.
September 25, 2011
Does your career define your family, or does your family define your career?
We cannot assume a correlation between the level of success we achieve in our careers and what is best for our family. Even if we are in careers that provide some benefit to society, reaching the next rung on the ladder of influence or impacting one more life does not necessarily mean that we're doing the best thing for our family. We are blessed if we have the opportunity to do what we love to do every day, but even then that does not mean we can assume we are doing what is best for our family. We might be the best in our group, company or even in our industry, but being the best does not invariably mean we are doing what is best for our family.
The most important question to ask oneself, therefore, is not:
-- What is my five-year career goal?
-- What can I do that will result in the greatest social or financial ROI?
-- What do I enjoy doing?
-- What is the next big industry and how can I make big money in it?
-- In what area can I become a thought leader?
The mosts important question to ask oneself is:
-- What is our family goal?
Your career is a vehicle, not the finish line. It is the means to an end, not the end. That's not to say that your career is not important. It's also not to say that no great thing can be accomplished in and through a great career. What I am saying is that everything should begin with family. It's our first and greatest responsibility; and it's the only thing we will one day regret not spending more time on.
Once you identify your family goal, then the challenge is to find a vehicle (career) that can take you there. This is where, for many people, the paradigm really has to shift significantly. You see, what many of us seem to put our passion, sweat, and money into more than anything is our career. Our LinkedIn profiles (meaning: progression in our careers, our resumes) have, for many, become a measure of success. We ask each other: "What is your dream job?" This really means: "Where are you headed based on your career being the defining factor?" But I rarely hear people ask: "What is your dream scenario for your family? How is your family defining your career?"
An important piece of the paradigm shift is this: the best thing for your family might be for you to make less money or take on a role with less responsibility, at least for now. Or the best thing for your family might be to explore opportunities you've never considered before. What's most important is the lens through which you evaluate opportunities. I believe the lens should be a "family goal" that you use to evaluate every decision you make for your career. The question to ask is: "Will doing this allow me to take a step closer to the place we want to be as a family?" The family goal trumps financial and/or social goals. It also trumps any feeling of impossibility -- no matter how "stuck" you might feel in the career you are in, the family goal challenges you to look beyond your immediate circumstances. The family goal is the lens through which you should evaluate career decisions and career success.
The goal should not be developed within the restrictions of your current life or within the limitations you might have in your mind regarding what is possible. The goal for your family should be unrestricted and should be whatever you believe would be ideal. That's the stake in the ground. That's the finish line you drive towards; it's the finish line worth driving towards.
There is no social impact great enough, no pay day big enough, and no role grand enough to be worth exchanging for your family goal. On the flip side, there is no rut you can't climb out of and no cycle you can't break out of in order to pursue your family goal. The danger is in allowing the career you are in -- whether you love it or hate it -- to define (restrict) what is possible for your family.
Your career is a vehicle that should take you where you want to go. I believe you can be passionate about what you do, bless others, and earn a sufficient (even significant) income while still doing something that allows you to do everything you want with and for your family. What's your family goal? What do you want to be able to do with your family and for your family? That's where you don't compromise. Everything else is up for evaluation. Instead of allowing your career to define what is possible for your family, you can determine that your family will define what is possible for your career.
The most important question to ask oneself, therefore, is not:
-- What is my five-year career goal?
-- What can I do that will result in the greatest social or financial ROI?
-- What do I enjoy doing?
-- What is the next big industry and how can I make big money in it?
-- In what area can I become a thought leader?
The mosts important question to ask oneself is:
-- What is our family goal?
Your career is a vehicle, not the finish line. It is the means to an end, not the end. That's not to say that your career is not important. It's also not to say that no great thing can be accomplished in and through a great career. What I am saying is that everything should begin with family. It's our first and greatest responsibility; and it's the only thing we will one day regret not spending more time on.
Once you identify your family goal, then the challenge is to find a vehicle (career) that can take you there. This is where, for many people, the paradigm really has to shift significantly. You see, what many of us seem to put our passion, sweat, and money into more than anything is our career. Our LinkedIn profiles (meaning: progression in our careers, our resumes) have, for many, become a measure of success. We ask each other: "What is your dream job?" This really means: "Where are you headed based on your career being the defining factor?" But I rarely hear people ask: "What is your dream scenario for your family? How is your family defining your career?"
An important piece of the paradigm shift is this: the best thing for your family might be for you to make less money or take on a role with less responsibility, at least for now. Or the best thing for your family might be to explore opportunities you've never considered before. What's most important is the lens through which you evaluate opportunities. I believe the lens should be a "family goal" that you use to evaluate every decision you make for your career. The question to ask is: "Will doing this allow me to take a step closer to the place we want to be as a family?" The family goal trumps financial and/or social goals. It also trumps any feeling of impossibility -- no matter how "stuck" you might feel in the career you are in, the family goal challenges you to look beyond your immediate circumstances. The family goal is the lens through which you should evaluate career decisions and career success.
The goal should not be developed within the restrictions of your current life or within the limitations you might have in your mind regarding what is possible. The goal for your family should be unrestricted and should be whatever you believe would be ideal. That's the stake in the ground. That's the finish line you drive towards; it's the finish line worth driving towards.
There is no social impact great enough, no pay day big enough, and no role grand enough to be worth exchanging for your family goal. On the flip side, there is no rut you can't climb out of and no cycle you can't break out of in order to pursue your family goal. The danger is in allowing the career you are in -- whether you love it or hate it -- to define (restrict) what is possible for your family.
Your career is a vehicle that should take you where you want to go. I believe you can be passionate about what you do, bless others, and earn a sufficient (even significant) income while still doing something that allows you to do everything you want with and for your family. What's your family goal? What do you want to be able to do with your family and for your family? That's where you don't compromise. Everything else is up for evaluation. Instead of allowing your career to define what is possible for your family, you can determine that your family will define what is possible for your career.
September 21, 2011
Your Life is Not a Space Shuttle. Your Life is a Bicycle.
A significant amount of thrust is required to lift a 4.5-million-pound space shuttle off of a launch pad. In order to do so, the shuttle's main engines must build up to 90% of maximum thrust before takeoff. Then the solid rocket boosters are ignited and the journey begins.
On a bicycle, the journey begins when your foot pushes down on the peddle. Prior to exerting force on the peddle, there is no movement or build up of energy. Nothing happens until you push the peddle, but as soon as you push the peddle the bicycle moves.
Your life is not a space shuttle. Lift off does not require that 90% of maximum thrust be achieved before takeoff.
Your life is a bicycle. Movement will not occur as a result of you thinking harder, meditating more, planning better, researching deeper, studying longer, considering one more option, or doing 100 jumping jacks and hopping on one foot 5 times before climbing on the bicycle. Movement occurs when your foot pushes down on the peddle.
Your life is not a space shuttle. There is no pre-launch checklist that can assure you that everything will be OK if you move forward with the mission.
Your life is a bicycle. Do you remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle? Or maybe you remember teaching a child how to ride one. Some lessons from that first attempt:
1. Training wheels are OK. Lose the ego, put on the training wheels.
2. You will fall. Wear a helmet, but get back up and try again.
3. You will never move forward if you don't push the peddle.
4. You cannot prepare to ride a bicycle for the first time. You just do it, and learn while doing.
What do you feel you are not ready to do, but would love to try? What have you been putting off your entire life because "now" is just not the right time? Have you always trained, but never entered the race?
Your life is not a space shuttle. You are not going to reach your dreams sitting on the launch pad hoping to build up enough thrust to one day "shoot into outer space in T plus 45 minutes". You are not going to grow and change as a person while sitting on a launch pad. You will not be challenged, you will not get hurt, you will not fail (or fall), or learn while sitting on a launch pad. There is no amount of running around in a circle you can do that will result in you shooting out of that circular pattern and suddenly taking flight toward your dreams. There is no amount of thinking you can do that will provide the answer to all your questions or planning you can do that will develop the "treasure map" that leads you to all you hope to achieve. You will not find whatever you are looking for while sitting on a launch pad.
Your life is a bicycle. You will find answers, find yourself, and reach your dreams when you start to peddle.
September 8, 2011
Direct Correlation Between Our Level of Anxiety and the Degree to Which We Focus On Ourselves
I am discovering that my level of anxiety is directly correlated to the degree to which I focus on myself. The more I focus on myself, the greater the possibility that my anxiety will be high. The more I focus on others, the greater the possibility that my anxiety will be low.
A wise man recently told me that God brings us into contact with others for a reason. Our purpose should be to discover what is that reason. We are detectives or treasure hunters or research scientists, searching for the purpose held within every interaction. There is purpose, deep purpose, that all too often lies untouched when two people engage. When two people with real pain, worries, joy, and dreams engage each other and all that is left from that interaction is a forced smile and a "have a good day" comment (if that), I fear we miss the entire purpose of our lives.
When my end goal becomes to discover how I can specifically reach into someone's life and bless him in such a unique way that it reaches to the core of his specific hurt or joy in that moment, then my life stops being about me and begins to be full of purpose. We cannot find "fulfilling purpose" in a life that is all about ourselves. And, yet, the correct response to this truth is not simply "denial of self" but, much more importantly, a laser-like focus on others.
Imagine with me waking up each morning with only these thoughts on your mind: Who might I encounter today? What is the likelihood that I might have the opportunity to engage on a real level with the person behind the cash register as he swipes my groceries through the scanner? What is the possibility that today I might be able to help others move their agendas forward? Where and when today might I ask someone just enough of the right questions to be given the privilege to encourage her in such a way that she discovers an extra bounce in her step?
This is not about asking questions in order to lead people to talk about the things we want to talk about. This is about asking questions in order to find out what they want to talk about and what they need to hear and how we can bless them. If we woke every morning with our sole focus being to reach into the lives of the people we encounter with the purpose of blessing them where they are at in any way we can, then I believe we'd live life in all its fullness. We'd experience peace and joy in ways we haven't in a long time, maybe ever. And we really would worry a lot less.
It's a requirement to worry when thinking about oneself, isn't it? Not always, of course, but at some point and on enough days, when we think about ourselves the thinking has to eventually lead to anxiety. In contrast, when we begin our day with the mission set in our minds that we are going to discover how we can specifically bless each person we encounter, then there is nothing to worry about. Our minds are not set on what could cause us anxiety, but instead on what might be causing someone else anxiety. Our minds are not set on our own joy (finding it, keeping it, protecting it, getting it back), but on what others are rejoicing about...so that we can rejoice with them.
The question is not "How am I feeling today?" The question is "How is that person feeling today?" The questions that really matter are not the ones that help us better understand ourselves. The questions that matter are the ones that help us understand others.
A wise man recently told me that God brings us into contact with others for a reason. Our purpose should be to discover what is that reason. We are detectives or treasure hunters or research scientists, searching for the purpose held within every interaction. There is purpose, deep purpose, that all too often lies untouched when two people engage. When two people with real pain, worries, joy, and dreams engage each other and all that is left from that interaction is a forced smile and a "have a good day" comment (if that), I fear we miss the entire purpose of our lives.
When my end goal becomes to discover how I can specifically reach into someone's life and bless him in such a unique way that it reaches to the core of his specific hurt or joy in that moment, then my life stops being about me and begins to be full of purpose. We cannot find "fulfilling purpose" in a life that is all about ourselves. And, yet, the correct response to this truth is not simply "denial of self" but, much more importantly, a laser-like focus on others.
Imagine with me waking up each morning with only these thoughts on your mind: Who might I encounter today? What is the likelihood that I might have the opportunity to engage on a real level with the person behind the cash register as he swipes my groceries through the scanner? What is the possibility that today I might be able to help others move their agendas forward? Where and when today might I ask someone just enough of the right questions to be given the privilege to encourage her in such a way that she discovers an extra bounce in her step?
This is not about asking questions in order to lead people to talk about the things we want to talk about. This is about asking questions in order to find out what they want to talk about and what they need to hear and how we can bless them. If we woke every morning with our sole focus being to reach into the lives of the people we encounter with the purpose of blessing them where they are at in any way we can, then I believe we'd live life in all its fullness. We'd experience peace and joy in ways we haven't in a long time, maybe ever. And we really would worry a lot less.
It's a requirement to worry when thinking about oneself, isn't it? Not always, of course, but at some point and on enough days, when we think about ourselves the thinking has to eventually lead to anxiety. In contrast, when we begin our day with the mission set in our minds that we are going to discover how we can specifically bless each person we encounter, then there is nothing to worry about. Our minds are not set on what could cause us anxiety, but instead on what might be causing someone else anxiety. Our minds are not set on our own joy (finding it, keeping it, protecting it, getting it back), but on what others are rejoicing about...so that we can rejoice with them.
The question is not "How am I feeling today?" The question is "How is that person feeling today?" The questions that really matter are not the ones that help us better understand ourselves. The questions that matter are the ones that help us understand others.
September 2, 2011
Why Can Life Be So Hard?
"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest."
A friend of mine has been grossly mistreated by her bosses at her place of work. My good friends in Taiwan have a baby whose birth weight was less than two pounds. We have two special needs children. A friend's husband left her and their kids. One couple we know struggled for years to have children of their own. Another good friend has a three-year-old son battling leukemia.
Why does God place a dream in our heart and then allow life to be so hard? Why do some people find themselves walking along what they believe to be their God-given path only to suddenly find themselves upended by pain? In the midst of our painful circumstances, I believe seeds of opportunity are planted that can grow into great harvests. But the planting can be very difficult. It requires a willingness to risk, to work, and to persevere even though no immediate return is seen.
We see this in the business world. If you have ever tried to start a company, you know that a great deal of pain and sacrifice is involved. And there is no guaranteed outcome. A business builder takes significant risks and sheds great drops of sweat in order to labor toward the birth of her dream. She knows the pain required to complete the journey. She has mapped it out, day-by-day, every step of hardship and struggle set out before her. And she takes it on without regard to her comfort or present joy. She almost rejoices in the pain because of the dream set in her heart. She counts the cost and considers it a price worth paying.
I believe that our deepest dreams wrap themselves around people, not around money or numbers or houses or cars or trips or position or fame or knowledge. And because our dreams are wrapped around people, as we allow ourselves to pursue them, pain will occur. But I don't believe that the pain is a stop sign on the road to our dreams, maybe just a detour. And maybe the detour is essential.
The road that leads to any dream worth pursuing will not be an easy road. "Friends" will not understand or question your sanity or simply not be there to support. But other friends will understand, they will ask genuine questions because they know who you are, and no matter what, they will be there to support you. There will be times when you feel lonely, betrayed, abandoned, angry, confused, sick, hurt, tired, overwhelmed, and more. But that's part of the journey to the dream and, really, those experiences are what make the dream reality.
We might not pursue our dream because we know the path is not easy. We know the road is hard. We might feel it would be easier to take the road "more traveled by" instead of "less traveled by". At least, then, no one can call us crazy. At least, then, we lower the risk of getting hurt. We also know that the road that leads to our dreams is not a short one; it's not something that can be traveled in a day, a month or even a year. Only people with self-control, resolve and commitment can achieve their dream. Only people who are willing to pay the price. And it's an expensive price. So the question really is: if God put a dream in your heart, but the price is high to realize it, are you willing to pursue it anyway?
What dream are we building with our lives? Do we avoid the pain and, therefore, avoid the dream? Or do we boldly step out and go confidently in the direction of our dreams? My passion is that every individual know that God put a dream in your heart in order for you to pursue it. And I am learning this: the journey is so much more valuable than the destination. If you choose to pursue your dream, certainly keep your eyes on the goal, but also rejoice in the moments that occur every day. The moments that overwhelm you and shake you and scare you and make you question why you ever decided to take the road less traveled by; rejoice in the moments that confuse you and make you angry. It's these moments that truly make the dream. It's these moments that make life so hard, but also make life so worth living.
A friend of mine has been grossly mistreated by her bosses at her place of work. My good friends in Taiwan have a baby whose birth weight was less than two pounds. We have two special needs children. A friend's husband left her and their kids. One couple we know struggled for years to have children of their own. Another good friend has a three-year-old son battling leukemia.
Why does God place a dream in our heart and then allow life to be so hard? Why do some people find themselves walking along what they believe to be their God-given path only to suddenly find themselves upended by pain? In the midst of our painful circumstances, I believe seeds of opportunity are planted that can grow into great harvests. But the planting can be very difficult. It requires a willingness to risk, to work, and to persevere even though no immediate return is seen.
We see this in the business world. If you have ever tried to start a company, you know that a great deal of pain and sacrifice is involved. And there is no guaranteed outcome. A business builder takes significant risks and sheds great drops of sweat in order to labor toward the birth of her dream. She knows the pain required to complete the journey. She has mapped it out, day-by-day, every step of hardship and struggle set out before her. And she takes it on without regard to her comfort or present joy. She almost rejoices in the pain because of the dream set in her heart. She counts the cost and considers it a price worth paying.
I believe that our deepest dreams wrap themselves around people, not around money or numbers or houses or cars or trips or position or fame or knowledge. And because our dreams are wrapped around people, as we allow ourselves to pursue them, pain will occur. But I don't believe that the pain is a stop sign on the road to our dreams, maybe just a detour. And maybe the detour is essential.
The road that leads to any dream worth pursuing will not be an easy road. "Friends" will not understand or question your sanity or simply not be there to support. But other friends will understand, they will ask genuine questions because they know who you are, and no matter what, they will be there to support you. There will be times when you feel lonely, betrayed, abandoned, angry, confused, sick, hurt, tired, overwhelmed, and more. But that's part of the journey to the dream and, really, those experiences are what make the dream reality.
We might not pursue our dream because we know the path is not easy. We know the road is hard. We might feel it would be easier to take the road "more traveled by" instead of "less traveled by". At least, then, no one can call us crazy. At least, then, we lower the risk of getting hurt. We also know that the road that leads to our dreams is not a short one; it's not something that can be traveled in a day, a month or even a year. Only people with self-control, resolve and commitment can achieve their dream. Only people who are willing to pay the price. And it's an expensive price. So the question really is: if God put a dream in your heart, but the price is high to realize it, are you willing to pursue it anyway?
What dream are we building with our lives? Do we avoid the pain and, therefore, avoid the dream? Or do we boldly step out and go confidently in the direction of our dreams? My passion is that every individual know that God put a dream in your heart in order for you to pursue it. And I am learning this: the journey is so much more valuable than the destination. If you choose to pursue your dream, certainly keep your eyes on the goal, but also rejoice in the moments that occur every day. The moments that overwhelm you and shake you and scare you and make you question why you ever decided to take the road less traveled by; rejoice in the moments that confuse you and make you angry. It's these moments that truly make the dream. It's these moments that make life so hard, but also make life so worth living.
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